Considerate reefers

I’m not going to call people out on this site. I know many people make money on here as a side business and I won’t try to bash them as they do to the other guys on here, but I will say this: as a community I love that we can all be really great people and (as someone recently said to me) “fish friends.”

There are always some guys we won’t get along with that others will. I have personally been called a flake because I am extremely busy trying to run my own small business (not reef related). In that instance I offered to place a deposit on what I was buying in order for it to be held for me, but I was somehow still a flake? 😂
In another instance I have had negative dealings with one person on multiple occasions. I feel that my naivety and inexperience was taken advantage of, but I still haven’t called them out here as they do to many others. (Hint: don’t bother people at 2 in the morning when they never explicitly called you out or gave any indication that you are the person they had a bad experience with 🤦🏽😂).

But for the most part I have met really great people that have helped me and others that I hope to have helped as well . I have made friends and appreciate the assistance that others gave me when I needed it (Danny and Derek).

What I am hoping to communicate with everyone who reads this is that we should all take a little more time to make sure we are considerate of the people who we interact with on this site. That we don’t take advantage of them (especially newbies), and we pay it forward when possible. I feel that SDR is much more than a place to sell things and make a quick buck, it’s a way to keep our community thriving and educate people who start where we all once were.

And while I have everyone’s attention, become premium members. Let’s promote that section a little more and help the site.


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Well said although I feel I might have rubbed some people the wrong way from time to time. I have always done my best to clearly communicate with fellow salty enthusiasts. When I welcome someone into my home I try my best to answer all questions and even after that when they have my number I am open to text for more help. I love this hobby and I dont think a lot of people know how fortunate we are to have this site (maybe I am just naive to this) and all the years of info and knowledge contained here. I would love to see the site return to what it was years ago when I first joined when the chat was constantly active and we made real connections with fellow members.

I think if there are enough of use who spread the word and keep treating everyone like people instead of acting like car salesmen we will keep the community close knit.


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The words expressed in this thread are my exact sentiments as I've expressed to many in person including Brother Jason also a Veteran, D-Man, Danny, Cristobal, Chad, Marty, Carlos, VanTessa, & others recently

I was reefing when trickle filters, bio balls & metal halides were the pinnacle of technology. The internet was still not available to the public. My mistakes were mine alone to suffer unlike now where we share our setbacks & victories.

I wish to take this moment to thank each of you whom have shared your insights in a post or in your homes when I visited.

Here is to each one of you "Reef Stewards" that care for these exotic critters on behalf of our Creators. I'll see you on the reef sisters & brothers.

I absolutely hate the craigslist feel of the community right now. Whenever I sell something, it’s typically because I had to replace a pump or something else that broke and my fiancé made me sell something else to make up the difference. Nearly every time I do, it’s a herculean effort of haggling with people over something I price just enough cover my losses and sell quickly, especially considering my daily struggle with anxiety. Ex: I bought a 6-bulb t5 rig for $100 (great deal) because it’s not easy for me to bug someone for a par meter rental for my leds and t5s have simply always grown coral better for me. Now my Philzons are up for sale (que waving tube arm man) and I kinda dread it. I mean, I need them gone as per the woman, but it’s such a PITA to be in a marketplace sometimes. I’m never out to make a profit and would prefer to just grow my coral and talk to people about it because my fiancé couldn’t care less about the hobby or hearing about polyp extension. I’m in this hobby because I don’t want to stress over this hobby. I want to feel like I have some form of control and zen over something.


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I completely agree with this and I’m glad someone had the guts to bring it up. Recently I have had people try to physically fight me, call me names and belittle me over coral. I have left the hobby before over this. I currently am in an eating disorder program that I spend 10hrs a day 6 days a week in. I deal with anxiety and depression and now seizures. Around this, I have been starting a PTSD program to help military members deal with their issues through reefing. It’s easy to say I’m busy. I try to help people out the best I can within my means. Pretty much everyone who has picked up stuff from me has received something for free because this is what people have done for me. I miss the site being about this. I currently have over $500 with of equipment and corals out to different people that we just haven’t agreed on a trade yet. I’m ok with this because I trust them 100%. This is what the site use to be about. I try to understand and be flexible because people have their own problems in their lives that they are dealing with. This is what the site use to be about. I also try to understand that it is hard to tell what people actually mean through reading texts. I am in no way innocent but I feel I have done a lot more good then bad. There are some of the most amazing people you will ever meet on this site and I don’t want anyone to be turned away from the hobby when it might be the one thing that saves their life/make them happy like it has done for me. Love hard, love often and happy reefing!

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Originally Posted by crustaceon

...because my fiancé couldn’t care less about the hobby or hearing about polyp extension

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Haha, I hear that! My wife doesn't care in the slightest.

When I started on the site I noticed the same trend, but I just assumed people were snobby about the corals they kept and didn't want to trade with common folk like me, hahah.
I know I post stuff FS a fair amount, but the $ goes right back in the tank, I guess it's kind of like trading..? I try to chime in when I see people ask questions on here (and bite my tongue when I see ridiculous for sale posts). I've been in this hobby long enough that I no longer post 'what is this' threads, but sometimes it's nice/useful to know if people use a particular product so many of my posts are aimed at reviews of stuff.

"Never Forget!"
https://i.postimg.cc/fTVsCMD2/Captur...8-19-56-58.png

Right now: Ladies in my household are watching a stupid show about people getting engaged and married sight unseen. Typical blah blah blah drama blah blah. Dumb.

Me: Looking at the tank under moonlights for new fluorescence out of corals that were shocked weeks ago by a water change that used Instant Ocean salt that mixed at 14dkh (Blue bucket!!!) unbeknownst to me at the time. Way more exciting.


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Originally Posted by crustaceon

Me: Looking at the tank under moonlights for new fluorescence out of corals that were shocked weeks ago by a water change that used Instant Ocean salt that mixed at 14dkh (Blue bucket!!!) unbeknownst to me at the time. Way more exciting.


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Haha I hear you. Recently I like sitting in front of my tank with the lights off, in the dark, with my cell phone light, trying to scope all the weird stuff that goes on at night in the tank. Theres always something going on in there its awesome.

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Originally Posted by Tonyreeffish

Haha I hear you. Recently I like sitting in front of my tank with the lights off, in the dark, with my cell phone light, trying to scope all the weird stuff that goes on at night in the tank. Theres always something going on in there its awesome.

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I did exactly that with my 100g when I had asterinas. I pulled at least fifty out per night and after a month, I had them completely eradicated.


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Originally Posted by crustaceon

Right now: Ladies in my household are watching a stupid show about people getting engaged and married sight unseen. Typical blah blah blah drama blah blah. Dumb.

Me: Looking at the tank under moonlights for new fluorescence out of corals that were shocked weeks ago by a water change that used Instant Ocean salt that mixed at 14dkh (Blue bucket!!!) unbeknownst to me at the time. Way more exciting.


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This resonated with me so much. Bro I was rolling.

I’m glad so many people appreciated this post. Honestly I have made some friends and we help each other out a lot. I love sharing experiences and knowledge with each other. It is my favorite part of the hobby


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Stay encouraged while the others find PEACE!
https://i.postimg.cc/vZ1kRhYy/g-FEDij9nb5o-X1-MQLsb.gif

I have been here since Feb ‘06. More than 14years. I have been both a hobbyist and a professional within the hobby, and have literally met and had interactions with 1,000+ members & hobbyists here in SD.

99.9% of the people are awesome! There are only about (5) people I won’t deal with.

While it IS true that the board has become more buy/sell oriented and less discussion oriented, the overall community here is amazing, and a truly wonderful and valuable resource.

I am honored to be here.

I think it may add value for everyone to just step back, take a deep breath to reflect and recognize how fortunate every last one of us is to have the luxury and disposable income to pursue this hobby. I’d say the majority of folks here have a fondness and respect for coral. Whether it’s the colors you like, the symbiotic relationships or the enjoyment of implementing cutting edge technology- there is something for everyone. Look at your fish.... learn from them! Their sense of community is something we should emulate. Notice how they learn to work with and around each other (for the most part). They do this for their own survival. As a species, we’re so good at surviving that we are detached from basic communal instincts and therefore it’s easy to get wrapped up in pettiness.

Now exhale- what a great time to be alive and human! We are ushering in an era where coral is no longer going to be found in the wild- take that in for a second....there are bigger things we should be focused on as hobbyists. Let’s at least learn from the creatures we keep.... both the algae & the animal can not survive without working with each other... if 2 different species can do it, certainly 2 hobbyists can.

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Originally Posted by dizzyjay

I think it may add value for everyone to just step back, take a deep breath to reflect and recognize how fortunate every last one of us is to have the luxury and disposable income to pursue this hobby. I’d say the majority of folks here have a fondness and respect for coral. Whether it’s the colors you like, the symbiotic relationships or the enjoyment of implementing cutting edge technology- there is something for everyone. Look at your fish.... learn from them! Their sense of community is something we should emulate. Notice how they learn to work with and around each other (for the most part). They do this for their own survival. As a species, we’re so good at surviving that we are detached from basic communal instincts and therefore it’s easy to get wrapped up in pettiness.

Now exhale- what a great time to be alive and human! We are ushering in an era where coral is no longer going to be found in the wild- take that in for a second....there are bigger things we should be focused on as hobbyists. Let’s at least learn from the creatures we keep.... both the algae & the animal can not survive without working with each other... if 2 different species can do it, certainly 2 hobbyists can.

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Well done bro! very well put.

https://i.postimg.cc/FHgK6y8C/QTyn-KBMU8y962-FLu-N5.gif

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Originally Posted by Paxis

https://i.postimg.cc/FHgK6y8C/QTyn-KBMU8y962-FLu-N5.gif

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hahahahaha

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Originally Posted by Paxis

"Never Forget!"
https://i.postimg.cc/fTVsCMD2/Captur...8-19-56-58.png

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#$tayFishy

I will miss each of you someday!

Man I just caught up with some of the posts on here. I took a break from SDR when I went out of town for work, my tank practically crashed, and life kind of took a turn. I’m genuinely happy that so many of you are still doing well and I’m glad to be back. I missed my friends and seriously appreciate each of you that I have worked with outside of reefing. This community has given me so much. Thank you all


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