Board Drama and un-neccessary flaming

[Dakota]

I think this really needs to stop. I'm talking about all the posts where people bicker back and forth. it's really un-neccessary. We're all old enough that we should take a step back and look twice before posting. There's nothing like a mis-interpretation of a post leading into a heated argument. I know, I've done it. And I've learned from it. I hope that everyone can just bite their tongue if they feel the need to say something. Most of the time it's a misunderstanding. You know, someone's had a bad day and they get home to see a post that looks kind of offensive.

Why not try PMing the individual instead of making a huge, dramiatic deal about it. It will save those involved any un-neccessary heart-ache, and it will save the rest of us having to see it. For the love that all that is Reef-keeping, this is a community board, and as such should be a friendly place.

[Kee]

I actually think that this is one of the most well behaved board I have come across. Maybe I am missing the heated threads.

[MrKrispy]

Originally posted by Dakota
[B] I've learned from it. I hope that everyone can just bite their tongue if they feel the need to say something. Most of the time


Bite this!













j/k bwah

[MonsterC]

Im all for it I guess!!! Ive never bashed anyone without being bashed first.But if someone that dont know me is gonna insult me,HEY!!!Fair Game!!!

[Dakota]

Originally posted by MonsterC
Im all for it I guess!!! Ive never bashed anyone without being bashed first.But if someone that dont know me is gonna insult me,HEY!!!Fair Game!!!

that's exactly myt point... GET to know them... don't just lash out back. . .and bashing people just because they bashed you isn't going to fix anything. Granted, this board it MULTITUDES better and much more well behaved than others, but it's still something that we should all try to work on to make it better. Am I the only one who feels this way?

[peterluber]

im with you. theres no reason to pick fights on here where we are just here to learn, teach, and get feedback.

[SanDiegoReefs]

I agree with you Dakota... there's been a huge increase in lame reef drama around here lately. Back when we had under 100 members, everyone knew each other and everything was very calm. People were very nice/friendly/helpful/etc toward everyone. The thing to remember about SDreefs, is that unlike other forums, we're all from the same area... so there's potential for having a nice, thriving, helpful community that can exist IN PERSON as well as online.

Or something.

-moore

[swissfish]

Well said Dakota. All the people i have met to pick up stuff were nice people.
Anyway, i'll be missing the the batles and insults a litle bit since they were quite amusing :D

[SDMike]

Am I missing something? :confused:

I haven't seen near the flaming that goes on elsewhere...

BUT... Y'all keep it civil now or your Mom and I are gonna whup y'all till you cain't siddown!

M

[jharr]

Agreed. This forum is relatively civil, but even the occasional flame leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially bacause I know a few of you, and as a noob I have been treated very well here. So to see someone start a pissing contest here is especially discomforting.

I wonder if the amount of flaming is proportional to the subject matter? I have never seen a single flame on goldfishparadise.com or theplantedtank.com. The folks there have soft water and gentle currents if any. The colors are earth tones and fish are small schools or slow moving, with long flowing fins. It lends itself to a kinder, gentler conversation. Whereas a reef forum concerns itself with hard water, strong water movement, POWERFUL LIGHTING, stinging tentacles, etc. Maybe reefers are just naturally more aggressive :D

Everyone keep up the good work and this forum will continue to be the best on the net.

Later,
James

[MonsterC]

Think your preaching to the wrong person here Dakota!!! Funny how this post found its way here today after I replied to someone jabbin at me on MY post.Ive never attacked a member of this board I didnt know or ever met.And I DIDNT reply to his comment the first time.Dannyboy called him on it as well as others.Then he did it again and was nasty about others comments.I didnt cry to a Moderator I took it like a Big Boy.Ive been called much worse and most were true!!!:D But when I do reply after his 3rd comment, this post pops-up.Funny thing is hes brought a coral to your tank to QT it.Make you friends????But I was and AM the bigger Man by not responding to his fudel attempts to get arise of me.As hes done to others from his past posts.So preach to him!!! Like I said ive insulted no members here. And Im sure your gonna sit back and let me make comments about your girlfriend or wife and your gonna want to GET TO KNOW ME!!! Im Game of it,As I said.Thats what ive always DONE!!! SO talk to Phischy's Punk ASS!!!!

[Dakota]

Case and point.

[SanDiegoReefs]

Wow... I guess that perfectly illustrates the point. A rant/flame/whatever that was... out of nowhere.

No really... where did that come from? ha

[Phischy]

My comment to MonsterC wasn't intended to be malicious. I get tired of hearing all the bashing of AW from time to time. Yes, I used to know a manager there, but he's long gone. I've had to wait just like everyone else, been ignored, etc... I was just a little peeved and so I made a comment. Lots of fallout. At any rate, we jabbed back and forth with several different users, I back pedaled a bit and finally just gave up. I didn't see the point in a long drawn out thread so I removed everything I had to say just to let the tread die. I did not mean to ruffle so many feathers (fins?).

The other 'drama' I've recently been involved in was with eldgordon (or something). I did not start that, the thread is still there for all to see.

I've had nothing but pleasant interactions with every member on this board I've met. Inlucding having someone I barely know re-habilitate a coral of mine. And it wasn't just to be friendly, it is a service he's performing in exhcange for frag. That makes it a business transaction.

This board and the members who make it rock. I don't want to see it dragged through the dirt more than anyone else. And with that being said, I'll keep my comments to myself. This is my apology to all.

[brahm]

i think there are a few trolls that need to go if this will ever happen.. Everyboard i've ever ran..you had to ban some people sooner or later.. As there are always a few members who have nothing better to do then try to stir things up.

[MonsterC]

Id love for there to be no DRAMA.Will it happen,I dont know.We are from the same area of the STATE, but not from the same neighborhoods.So comment that seem like nothing to one could get ya beat in another.Thats why the trollers need to be bounced they do no good for the board.In Phishy's case instead of bashing ME for MY personal BAD experience,post YOUR posative experiences youve had in the post.But attacking the person for their experience does no good.I figured that was why you said it because you knew someone that worked ther after seeing your site(because I had NOOOO idea who you were,or why you didnt like me).So I brushed it off,but then others called him out on the name calling and you continued.So I spoke up,but now I accept your appology and its done.:) I never had any encounter like that on this board and it was out of the blue.There are a FEW others(not Phischy) that are regulars for this activity.Ya take them out and this IS A PEACEFUL BOARD.Maybe if a post goes south it can be removed completely.Leaving them to contact each other directly if they have a problem.HAPPY REEFING ALL!!!:p

[Dakota]

I think we definitely need more moderators. Deleting posts that could potentially lead to a hot thread would definitely be a start. Also, I've moderating a lot of online games, and have realized that sometime banning someone is the only way to get through (not saying that anyone here needs to be banned). That way they may realize it was serious. But more upkeep on moderating is definetely a good start.

[luistwentyone]

Dakota !!! I agree with you buddy, I had a run in with you, and I apologized, I was in the wrong.

but more recently I had a run in with elfatsoinavw, if you look at my thread in the Members Tanks, under "a Tank is born" you will see that he is just plainly being an A-hole, all I did was respond in kind.

but what I think is the root of the problem is that we have many Jacques Cousteaus in here. in a previous post in this thread someone mentioned that "we are here to learn" and I AGREE !!!. if we knew everything I am sure we would not be here. but the Jacques of the board come off and blast a poster for various reasons.

I rarely come here anymore because I really don't feel lke dealing with know-it-alls, for all you who I offended I apologize, and for all those that just don't give a rats a$$......VIVA LA RAZA !

peace

I am out.

[Dakota]

we had a run in?? :confused: Must not have been anything too serious. . . I mean, sure, there's going to be misunderstandings, but there are better ways to deal with them than some. . . as for the "know it alls" and the large group of grossly sarcastic people (not regular sarcastic people. I love sarcasm) there is a line that they need to watch. Anyhoo... yeah... for everone our there. . .. come.. learn.. be nice... :D

[Dannyboy]

Ok, first off what the hell happened to this site? I joined this site cause I loved the fact you can tell someone to phuckoff if they are being an ass. If that changes might as well make this another forum on Reefcentral or some other over moderated site. Thats what I think makes SDreefs such a cool and unique site, to be able to say whatever you want WITHOUT a bunch of damn mods saying to "be nice"(nothing personal Dakota). Next thing you know we'll meet up to sing "koom-by-ya" or some ****!
I mean do you guys really take these word wars serious? I've been in so called "flame wars" before and I was lauging my ass off the whole time. Granted afterwards I pm'd the person and apoligized for screwing up their thread, but I thought their comebacks were really good one's. Remember Brahm? haha anyways if you throw in a ****ty little comment into someones thread, you better expect that person to react. Sorry if I dont share Dakota's "turn the other cheek" approach but if your going to phuck with someone, dont start crying when they phuck with YOU.
And for Phischy, thats cool you apoligized. I still think the comment was uncalled for but hey... **** happens.
So all in all, just dont take things so damn serious people! Every single reefer I have met on this board has been cool as hell and lets keep it that way, even if there is a squabble or 2 along the way...thats life!

[brahm]

well this board has changed.. alot

It used to be mainly a classfied board with a little banter..

now it's more of a banter board with a little classfied.. I think we've scared off alot of good people.

[JeromeBaker]

I've been browsing these boards for a while now. Met some great friends and got into my fair share of battles with others. The beauty of sdreefs like danny said is the ability to say what you feel. Just like in life.. if i disagree with someone I'm gonna state it. If I think someone is being an arrogant a$$hole i'm gonna call em on it. I love sdreefs and applaud moore for allowing us more freedom than other e-destinations. Some of what appeared to be the biggest a$$holes on this page have turned out to be the most knowledgable, friendly, generious reefers/people I have ever met. Its ok to call someone a *****head if they're acting like one. Lets try our best to stay down to earth. This community over the time I have been part of it has been a pretty good reflection of life. SOme people you'll like, some people you wont, get over it!

[mojoreason]

I concur how this is ending ... if someone does something on here they get called - good or bad.

I've talked with Brahm before about some discussion - - we don't agree still, I believe ... Dannyboy and I had our moment about some turtle b.s. but are fine and have PM'd each other since ... things come and go.

People don't take crap here ... but some are over-sensitive. No one usually gets out of line until things get weird ... it's always pretty mellow here and a great place to come to trade, ask questions, buy corals/fish/tanks, mix it up in the lounge ...

Just be cool ... and remember the good ol' Dead Kennedy's:

There are some people
Who don't take no ****
And if they did
They'd have half a brain left!!

[SDA619]

agreed yo...

this site has changed many of the regulars have gone away and new people have come.

but this site was always cool because it is not moderated.

Phuck the dont fight **** or thinking twice, if someone puts you on blast fire back.

keep it cool and no one will flame you...

i will however make an exception when people get outta line selling **** for more then retail or trying to get AW prices on here.

Ive seen people going at it on the site and then are cool in person.

Moore is the dopest moderator on any forum I use because well he doesnt do his job and i applaud him for that.

[Trickman2]

Ok, I am no saint here but I think this board is pretty mellow most of the time. Also I think once you hang out on the board a couple of times you get to know some people and things are cool. I wouldn't stress to much about the little spats. The only thing I would hope is that people keep them respectful. With as many members as we have their will be differences of opinions but that is what makes life great. Just think how boring life would be if we where all the same and thought the same thing. Anyways I think we should embrace our differences and hopefully we will be all a little more open minded and learn something new. Overall the people on this board our GREAT and are here to help each other which is what makes this community of reefers such a awesome thing. :D :D :D :D

[Dakota]

I think my point got lost somehwere. I'm not against disagreements. I'm all for them. I'm not against standing up for yourself. I'm agaist those "arrogant jerks" everyone is talking about standing up against. Those are the ones I'm talking about. I'm not even saying that there are any on this board. I've just noticed more tension and more heated threads than a couple of months ago. Also, there are younger kids that frequent this board, and I feel the language used against people could lessen a bit. I know I wouldn't want my kids (if I had them) reading some of these posts.

[obarrera]

There should be like an 18+ forum(even though im not 18 myself), that would be good for the people that wouldn't like there kids to see the bad languge and all that ****. Personally I don't care what other people do here, if they bash me I'll just bash them back, but to be honest I don't take it serious when people tell me ****.
If you don't want your kids to read some of the posts here, just take them to RC.:D
Is your job not to let them read all the bashing.:)

[josh2338]

Okay everyone get it of your chest! Let's hit it "koom-by-ya" come on now!!!:D

[brahm]

Part of the problem with the arguments and the debates.. Is that they DON'T stay in the lounge. They cross over into peoples selling, and buying threads.. and as a result of that ALOT of people were put off or don't bother coming to this board anymore.. This board was meant to be a good resource for SD reefers, and the more people get turned off the less it is that. The less people sell cool stuff, and the less people come here looking to buy stuff. The less people willing to ask questions, ect.. I've had my fair share of quarlls on this board, but If I had a choice I wouldn't have had a single one of them.. It's NOT good for the community as a whole IN ANY WAY.. SDreefs should be a place where people can openly chat, trade stuff.. ect.. It's not a place where you should come to VENT on other people because you had a crap day, or are bored.

[SanDiegoReefs]

Originally posted by brahm
Part of the problem with the arguments and the debates.. Is that they DON'T stay in the lounge. They cross over into peoples selling, and buying threads.. and as a result of that ALOT of people were put off or don't bother coming to this board anymore.. This board was meant to be a good resource for SD reefers, and the more people get turned off the less it is that. The less people sell cool stuff, and the less people come here looking to buy stuff. The less people willing to ask questions, ect.. I've had my fair share of quarlls on this board, but If I had a choice I wouldn't have had a single one of them.. It's NOT good for the community as a whole IN ANY WAY.. SDreefs should be a place where people can openly chat, trade stuff.. ect.. It's not a place where you should come to VENT on other people because you had a crap day, or are bored.

That sums up my feelings pretty much. I've seen so many BS arguments and stuff over in the For Sale areas, and Member Tank areas. This board worked so well when there was 95% Trading/Selling/Discussion and 5% Flames, now I feel it's shifted in favor of the flamewars.

In summary, calm down mofos... before I host an SD Reefs BBQ and make us all meet in person and shake hands... ha.

-moore

[obarrera]

Originally posted by moore
That sums up my feelings pretty much. I've seen so many BS arguments and stuff over in the For Sale areas, and Member Tank areas. This board worked so well when there was 95% Trading/Selling/Discussion and 5% Flames, now I feel it's shifted in favor of the flamewars.

In summary, calm down mofos... before I host an SD Reefs BBQ and make us all meet in person and shake hands... ha.

-moore

I wouldn't mind having to shake hands with everyone.haha
I remember I used to get in little fights with ricestudios but that was a long time ago and like I said I don't take things serious over the internet. Im pretty sure ricestudios still doesn't like me.:D

moore, you're right, we used to have less flames, but sometimes people are kind of annoying and it's hard not to say something about it(atleast to me is hard). I think it's all cool if we talk ***** to people at long as they can take it(lol), I think we should get to know each other a little better to see who is sensetive and who's not. Im the kind of person that can take jokes, it's very hard to make me mad atlong as the person that is talking crap is not serious, and if they want to talk crap they should take it too(I know no one gives a SHH about the kind of person I am but im kinda board and just wanted to let you all know :p ).
We are probably just making this worst.lol

[Dakota]

Originally posted by brahm
Part of the problem with the arguments and the debates.. Is that they DON'T stay in the lounge. They cross over into peoples selling, and buying threads.. and as a result of that ALOT of people were put off or don't bother coming to this board anymore.. This board was meant to be a good resource for SD reefers, and the more people get turned off the less it is that. The less people sell cool stuff, and the less people come here looking to buy stuff. The less people willing to ask questions, ect.. I've had my fair share of quarlls on this board, but If I had a choice I wouldn't have had a single one of them.. It's NOT good for the community as a whole IN ANY WAY.. SDreefs should be a place where people can openly chat, trade stuff.. ect.. It's not a place where you should come to VENT on other people because you had a crap day, or are bored.

That's pretty much is what I was trying to get across. . . just wasn't happening. . . Thanks Brahm! :)

[josh2338]

In summary, calm down mofos... before I host an SD Reefs BBQ and make us all meet in person and shake hands... ha.

You should host a BBQ. Let everyone do the paypal thing and pitch in for the grub. Let's do the BBQ thing and get together, everyone meet so the boldness of not knowing each other will cease when it comes to the comments that are posted. I've met up with MOORE, DAKOTA, conUSed totally cool guys especially DANNYBOY at PK check him out get a cool deal and excellent advice. Pk has really come along way with DANNYBOY working there. chilly05willy totally cool guy as well! OH :D back to the subject. So MOORE host up!!!!

[obarrera]

Originally posted by josh2338
You should host a BBQ. Let everyone do the paypal thing and pitch in for the grub. Let's do the BBQ thing and get together, everyone meet so the boldness of not knowing each other will cease when it comes to the comments that are posted. I've met up with MOORE, DAKOTA, conUSed totally cool guys especially DANNYBOY at PK check him out get a cool deal and excellent advice. Pk has really come along way with DANNYBOY working there. chilly05willy totally cool guy as well! OH :D back to the subject. So MOORE host up!!!!

Everyone I have met has been cool with me too, and yeah Dannyboy is probably the coolest guy I have met, if it wasn't for him my tank wouldn't be like it is right now.:D

[JeromeBaker]

danny.. what a sniffling little girl!! hahaha!!!