The Jewish Bra

[Heather]

Here's a joke that's sure to offend at least one person on here, so you can get back to yelling at me, and not each other ;) Well, then again, most of you are men so you may not find it so offensive after all, but here goes....:p

A man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy's in New York City. He tells the saleslady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B." With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?" He repeated "A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know what she wanted." "Ah, now I remember," said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra." Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked "So, what are the differences?" The saleslady responded. "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright." He mused on that information for a minute and said: "Hmmm. I know I'll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?" "A Jewish bra," she replied, "makes mountains out of molehills".

[crstjohn]

Funny, I like it!

[luistwentyone]

a jewish elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back! , and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Passover and paying their own airfares."

[Heather]

Hahahahahaha! :D

[SoCaLNaTiVe]

***! the first one is better! I suggest we dont get into this and this thread is locked.

[Heather]

Well I knew I'd irritate someone...I seem to have a knack for that :p

[luistwentyone]

***! the first one is better! I suggest we dont get into this and this thread is locked.

are you jewish ?

[da6d2003]

***! the first one is better! I suggest we dont get into this and this thread is locked.

Now this is funny!:p

[Heather]

I really wasn't trying to make anyone mad...I just thought I'd shift the focus a bit since everyone had their claws out on the other thread...I thought it was a funny joke, and I am sorry if it hurts anyone. I think we as people all get attacked in jokes somewhere...lord knows I've heard a thousand blonde bimbo jokes! I know who I am, so I don't let it get to me :)

[da6d2003]

This is one of my favorites. A variant of this was told to me by a Rabbi friend of the family.


A Jewish Christmas story...
The teacher was very curious about how each of her students' celebrated Christmas Eve "Tell me Patrick, what do you do on Christmas Eve?" she asked.

Patrick addressed the class. "Well Miss, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys."

"Very nice Patrick, now Jimmy Brown, what do you do?"

"Well Miss, me and my sister go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents."

Remembering there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now Jimmy Cohen, what do you do on Christmas Eve?"

"Well Miss, it's the same old thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls and drive to his toy factory. When we get inside we look at all the empty shelves and sing "What a friend we have in Jesus". Then we go to the Bahamas."

[reefermadness]

i love offensive jokes but that wasnt too offensive, try to piss more people off next time, i love when people get bent over stupid stuff:)

[Heather]

lord knows I've heard a thousand blonde bimbo jokes! I know who I am, so I don't let it get to me :)
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mom.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, mommy!" she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say to D, but I said all the way to G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mom.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, mommy!" she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36 D's.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde mommy?"
"No honey, it's because you're 24."

[Heather]

Did you hear about the figure conscious blonde who had square boobs??
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box...

[luistwentyone]

I really wasn't trying to make anyone mad...I just thought I'd shift the focus a bit since everyone had their claws out on the other thread...I thought it was a funny joke, and I am sorry if it hurts anyone. I think we as people all get attacked in jokes somewhere...lord knows I've heard a thousand blonde bimbo jokes! I know who I am, so I don't let it get to me :)

its all good girl !

[luistwentyone]

why are jews nostrils big ?



BECAUSE THE AIR IS FREE !!!!!

[luistwentyone]

Levi and Eli were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Levi," asked Eli, "Are there any Jews in Mexico?"

I don't know," Eli replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Levi asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Mexican Jews."

"Are you sure?" Levi asked.

"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Levi said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Mexican Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Eli asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews, and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews!"

[luistwentyone]

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.

Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him.

The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"

[Heather]

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches.

Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him.

The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
Oh my god! That was so funny!!! I'm gonna have to steal that one and put it on myspace :D

[BumbleBee]

ROFLMAO... those are all too funny. Thanks for the laugh, keep em coming!

[luistwentyone]

Why do we Mexicans drive low riders?
we are too short to get into any other type of car.


Why are we Mexicans so short?
When we were young, our parents would say, "When you get bigger you have to get a good job."

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn't matter, were to short to reach the socket.

[swissfish]

who invented the triathlon?

The Mexicans, they walked to the beach for a swim and stole a bicycle to ride home.

[pk-sd]

A Hindu gets on a plane and sits next to a European.
As the plane takes off, he unrolls a wrapper containing Hindu vegetarian food which smells so much that the European's nose twitches.

He turns to the man and says, "Food India" with a grin.

He then takes out a container containing the foulest smelling liquid and again the man at the side has a twitching nose.

He grins sheepishly at the man and says, "Sorry. Drink India"

He then proceeds with his meal.

As soon as he has finished he farts. It is a loud, long fart.

He grins sheepishly and says, "Air India"

[Elanglio]

A baby seal walks into a club...

[jrjuiliano]

"We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews, and grape Jews,


LOL! George Lopez would be proud!

[DaChrisDude]

A baby seal walks into a club...


Omg! LOL....

[lucubrator]

I don't get it. You know you're going to offend SOMEONE, but post anyway.
That last one was just a bit too far. Were this RC you'd have been banned by now, but then, they stick to reef stuff.

If you want to post this crap on your myspace, go ahead. That's what that site is for: driveling blather.

[lucubrator]

frijoles for brains.

and you had to stick you idiot arse into this ?

Niiiiice.

[Nigritude]

frijoles for brains.

No wonder your comments stink.

I deleted my reply, pity you saw it first. Be a doll and delete yours?

[Heather]

I'm sorry guys...I have no idea what went on in the last couple of hours. I just figured I'd post some things that some people might find funny. Those who didn't could just ignore it. That's what I do anyway. I pick my jokes based on some that have been posted by other people in the past. Many people on here seem to have found adult humor funny in past threads, so that's why I put some up myself. I never would have started if it hadn't already begun. I do not go to RC (Reef Central?), but I can tell you that if I did, and saw that they didn't post those kinds of things, then I wouldn't either. Come on guys...it wasn't too long ago that I came across a thread devoted to tits and ass avatar pictures! I didn't complain and say that I was offended. I didn't cry sexual harrassment. Instead I tried to be one of the big boys and play along. That's why I liked this website, because there were many depths to it. You could come on here are talk reef stuff, but you could also kick back and joke around with each other. Driveling blather? Ok...that's one opinion, but there were some people that got a chuckle out of my jokes. But I gotcha...no more...I'll stick to the same old stuff...:(

[da6d2003]

For the most part, RC sucks! LOL

[Heather]

For the most part, RC sucks! LOL
I used to think this was a really cool place to log onto, but lately it seems that everyone is at each other's throats! :confused:

[lucubrator]

Come on guys...it wasn't too long ago that I came across a thread devoted to tits and ass avatar pictures!

It was deleted. Same reason.

[da6d2003]

Yea, for some reason folks are getting their backs up for little to no reason. But nothing like on RC. Life is stressful enough.


I used to think this was a really cool place to log onto, but lately it seems that everyone is at each other's throats! :confused:

[Heather]

It was deleted. Same reason.
But it took a few YEARS...and some of the pics still there are questionable. But again, I'm not complaining...just explaining why I thought it was ok for me to post my jokes. I followed the lead that had already been set years before... ;)

[Nigritude]

Thank god for the members who dont follow the "lead". This forum is already going to crap.

[Heather]

Thank god for the members who dont follow the "lead". This forum is already going to crap.
Why are you guys going after me? Maybe you should revisit some of your old posts before you try to make me look bad...
http://www.sdreefs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18598
Courtesy of Nigritude.
http://a1135.g.akamai.net/f/1135/182...sethemouth.mp3
Why was this appropriate, but mine wasn't? Even Lucubrator found it funny. And as for following the lead...you seemed to be following others and jumping in quite often with that whole Adam thread, which was why I was trying to divert attention away from people being mean to each other with the jokes in the first place. I don't see the need for mudslinging, let's laugh instead, or at least keep it to simple ribbing. I put down my money and became a member on this site because I wanted to support it when it didn't seem like many people were, and because I thought it was a fun place to kill some time. You've got a lot to say in many areas on this website, but haven't bothered to upgrade to member yourself. Anyway, I'll stop posting jokes, because my intention was not for people to fight more, but rather to make them smile. Now this thread is becoming something ugly, and we're arguing, and that's just ridiculous! I don't want people out there thinking I'm some kind of a *****, because I'm not. I just have trouble letting things go when I feel attacked, and always feel the need to defend myself...a terrible character flaw....I know. Again, I do apologize sincerely if I upset anyone...

[luistwentyone]

Heather, these lil girls need to get laid.

if I offended you two ladies, SO PHUCKEN WHAT !? deal with it !

[swissfish]

it's all fun and we are picking at everybody, religion ethnicity.
Being PC sucks!

Someone bring on the swiss jokes!

[Heather]

it's all fun and we are picking at everybody, religion ethnicity.
Being PC sucks!

Someone bring on the swiss jokes!
Glad you have a sense of humor, Bruno :p Of course you're just in a good mood cause I finally lost in football ;)

I'll have to dig around for some Swiss jokes...not sure I've ever heard one :confused: It sure isn't hard to pick on me with blonde jokes...in fact I have a whole book of them sitting right here!

[vinny73]

I am LMAO at the fact this has nothing to do with me! This time I didnt do it! Nick is right though. You are gonna piss someone off. I am white as hell and hate black jokes. Ethnicity is such a touchy subject. Considering the fact that 90% of this site is a bunch of swingin pricks, tits and ass is allways good to talk about here. The ladies have been real cool about it. I myself have had to take a step back and look at how pissed I would let people get me. This crap isn't worth it. If people dont wanna be offended then stay out of the LOUNGE. Or choose wisely what you post. Now if that aint callin the kettle black I don't know what is! :)))))))))))

[ilikualot]

Not as good as some of the others but it was the only swiss joke I could find:

In Heaven the cooks are French, the lovers are Italian, the mechanics are German, the police are British, and the whole place is run by the Swiss.

In Hell the cooks are British, the lovers are Swiss, the mechanics are French, the police are German, and the whole place is run by the Italians.

Oh well I will keep searching.

Heather anyone who has met you can say that you are not a *****. I say keep having fun.

[Nigritude]

Read that thread again, I most certainly did not post it. Somebody else chose to with whom I had shared the link privately. The mod objected to your last joke and ofcourse luistwentyone had to jump in and be a chump that he is.

I understand that you are trying to alleviate the tension around here a little but you are way off base by saying that I do no support the forum. How long have you been here to make a call like that? If you read the Adam thread, I was repeatedly asking to close the thread because it was getting out of hand and if I remember correctly you agreed with that point.

The only objection I have to your posting is that it seems to be getting worse in the sense of vulgarity. You dont have to be vulgar to be "cool". This forum is pretty lax about things but it should not be taken for granted. Just post responsibly as it is a public forum. Joke with people you actually know. Just because people dont post does not mean they are not reading it. Check the member list, how many do you see posting? You are not a b*tch and in no way I was implying that.

To luistwentyone: Just because you post pictures of yourself with girls you think you are the pimp? Please get a life. You are the one having problems with my posts. Remember "OPTION to read"?

[luistwentyone]

....luistwentyone had to jump in and be a chump that he is.............To luistwentyone: Just because you post pictures of yourself with girls you think you are the pimp? Please get a life. You are the one having problems with my posts. Remember "OPTION to read"?

pimp ? *** ? what pictures with girls ?

dude, just because I get laid don't mean I'm a pimp. I am NOT a pimp. I've had the same girl for the past 10 yrs.

chump ? lol, anytime :D

[Elanglio]

Let me set a couple fo things straight.

1) I am THE pimp. End of story.

2) Telling racist jokes does not make someone racist. If you take it in a racist manner, take two pills of humor. Everyday comedians, tv shows, commercials, and even the radio have and will make racial jokes. Have you gotten angry and thrown your tv away? I doubt it.

So here is a joke for you people who like to laugh;

A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Mexican, and an American are all on a bridge when they decide to throw something off that they have alot of in their country.
The Frenchman walks up and tosses a pastrie off the edge "We have to many deserts in France."
The Englishman walks up and throws some tea over the edge "Tea time was rather silly anyways"
The Mexican walks up and chucks in the taco to its doom "Yeah, fishies love the tacos!"
The American walks up, picks up the Mexican, and throws him over "What? We got alot of them."

[Heather]

Read that thread again, I most certainly did not post it. Somebody else chose to with whom I had shared the link privately.
I saw that you didn't post it, but you chimed in on the thread and certainly didn't appear to object to your name being used. I'm just asking you to understand why I made the choice to continue along the same lines. I did not just jump on here one day and decide to shake things up with some bad jokes. It was already being done, and people seemed to like it, so I added some of my own.

Vinny....Demetrius and I were cracking up when we read your post! The whole time I kept reading the Adam thread I was thinking..."I bet Vinny is happy that people aren't yelling at him for a change!" :p Anyway, the joke they decided to delete was not racist in any way at all! It was a bit on the naughty side, but compared to some of the things I've seen on here, I thought it was harmless. I'll send it to you privately, and you can decide for yourself if I was way over the line with it... Oh, and as for being racist...I certainly am not! I can't count how many black people I know!! :p Ok...that was a joke that Demetrius would get (the guy in my pic with me if you haven't met us yet), and if you guys listen to D.L. Hughley, you might have gotten it too. ;) And don't worry, guys, I know you weren't calling me racist, so you don't have to defend yourself there...

[Heather]

Ok, Bruno! I give up!! I can not find any good swiss jokes!! I only found 2, and they were pretty lame. I even came across a website that had jokes about everything you can think of, but when you clicked on Swiss jokes, it said 'No jokes found!' You'll have to come up with some on your own and share with us...:)

[swissfish]

yeah, swiss people are even to lame to make fun off:D

[Heather]

yeah, swiss people are even to lame to make fun off:D
Dude you're crazy! :p

[Elanglio]

Here is what I could find;

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, können Sie Deutsch sprechen?" He asks. The two Englishmen just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez-vous français?" The two continue to stare. "Parlate italiano?" No response. "Hablan Ustedes espagnol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first Englishman turns to the second and says: "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language…"

"Why?" says the other, "that bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

And this second one, IMO, is a little better.

A guy is drinking hot chocolate in switzerland when he comes across a sweet dame... She says - "What you drinking?" "Swiss miss chocolate".. The girl blushes and spreads her legs.

Thats all I could find.

[Nigritude]

The biggest joke is the Swiss Military and the Swiss Independence Day. You know what I am talking about Bruno. :-P

[Elanglio]

Ok, I found a pretty good appropiate joke I think you all can relate to. For those of you who don't know, I lived in AK for 13 years and found this joke hilarious.

How Cold Is Cold?
60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50 Miami residents turn on the heat
40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming
35 Italian cars don't start
32 Water freezes
30 You plan your vacation to Australia
25 Boston water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming
20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 French cars don't start, Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 American cars don't start
0 Alaskans put on T-shirts
-10 German cars don't start, Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist
-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless, Minnesotans shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start
-25 Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30 You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start
-40 Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters, Your car helps you plan your trip South
-50 Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window
-60 Your boogers freeze and you can make a meal.
-70 Urine freezes before you have a chance to write your name in the snow.
-80 Hell freezes over, Polar bears move South
-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets

[swissfish]

The biggest joke is the Swiss Military and the Swiss Independence Day. You know what I am talking about Bruno. :-P

What you diden't like the fireworks:)

And the only cool thing about the military is that they make you take your machine gun and amonution home.

[Heather]

Here is what I could find;

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. "Entschuldigung, können Sie Deutsch sprechen?" He asks. The two Englishmen just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez-vous français?" The two continue to stare. "Parlate italiano?" No response. "Hablan Ustedes espagnol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.

The first Englishman turns to the second and says: "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language…"

"Why?" says the other, "that bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."

And this second one, IMO, is a little better.

A guy is drinking hot chocolate in switzerland when he comes across a sweet dame... She says - "What you drinking?" "Swiss miss chocolate".. The girl blushes and spreads her legs.

Thats all I could find.
The first I found...but didn't come across the second one. I think you made that up ;)

[Elanglio]

Thanks to the power of google, I foiund the following about the swiss :D
Scroll down a short distance to get to the jokes;

http://www.student.uit.no/~paalde/swedishjokes.html

[swissfish]

Sweden.Switzerland and Swaziland are three different countries. And the swiss part of Mexico is a foreign swiss territory (which we took over after the 18 year war of 1865 with the victory of the legendary battle of Majalles) but is still governed by Switzerland.

[Elanglio]

I give myself an "A" for effort.

[Heather]

Thanks to the power of google, I foiund the following about the swiss :D
Scroll down a short distance to get to the jokes;

http://www.student.uit.no/~paalde/swedishjokes.html
Those are swedish jokes...
Bruno...you're from Switzerland, not Sweden, right?

[Heather]

I give myself an "A" for effort.
Hahaha...I guess Bruno answered faster than I typed...I got a little distracted :p

[Elanglio]

Hahaha...I guess Bruno answered faster than I typed...I got a little distracted :p

Yeah, you gotta watch out for those shiny things.

[Heather]

Yeah, you gotta watch out for those shiny things.
Haha...very funny!
It was more like 3 kids talking to me at once, and then my man walking through the door at the same time...It can get pretty chaotic around here! :eek:

[luistwentyone]

...... And the swiss part of Mexico is a foreign swiss territory (which we took over after the 18 year war of 1865 with the victory of the legendary battle of Majalles) but is still governed by Switzerland.

hey Bruno, tell me some more about this. I googled it and searched everywhere but I can't find anything. :confused:

[Ezz]

Anti-semites!

[luistwentyone]

Anti-semites!

what about the Mexican portions ?

you don't care about Mexicans ?

the Mexican jokes are okay ?

[Ezz]

Whatever, Jew-Hater. You sound stupid and ignorant, just like your posts.

[luistwentyone]

Whatever Jew-Hater.

ROFL !

[luistwentyone]

Whatever, Jew-Hater. You sound stupid and ignorant, just like your posts.

so making fun of others is okay, as long as its not the jews ? you all are "special", right ?

[luistwentyone]

Anti-semites! / Racists!

lol, you wanted to be PC so you added the "racists" part, lol

[Ezz]

Why are you assuming things that I didn't say. I don't think it is right to make fun of any race or religion, especially in a public forum. Why don't you try to make more excuses for your antisemitic remarks low-life.

[luistwentyone]

Why are you assuming things that I didn't say. I don't think it is right to make fun of any race or religion, especially in a public forum. Why don't you try to make more excuses for your antisemitic remarks low-life.

why don't you blast me for being anti-Mexican ? most of my jokes were Mexican jokes ?

[Ezz]

Yeah I agree, as I said those jokes are wrong as well.

[luistwentyone]

Yeah I agree, as I said those jokes are wrong as well.

dude, truth is humor makes the world go round.

if you are jewish and I really offended you, I apologize. but if you think you scare\offend me by calling me an anti-semite, I don't give a phuck. that label don't do anything to me.

now, you can either laugh with me\at me or continue your jewish patrol. too much sh*t to worry about than to cry about some beaner dude cracking jokes.

shalom

[Ezz]

Yeah most people who are anti-semites don't like being called out as one.

[da6d2003]

You both need to stop egging each other on.

This is an "un-winable" discussion. You both know what I mean.

Luis, I've seen by your writing (in the past) that you are a smart fella, so I know you know what I mean. Ezz, I don't know you but I assume that you are too. Just leave it alone, Please.

[lucubrator]

I give myself an "A" for effort.

I don't. His name is "swissfish."

[lucubrator]

This sort of thing is the reason the rest of the world makes fun of the US.

Caption, "Do you see the world as the world sees you?" Meaning, "Are you as uninformed about international affairs as some people are?"

Oh, this is Swedish, not Swiss, or siSwati.

I've always thought it would be funny if we went to war with bruno's people and the Africans. I wonder how many people would think it's a civil war.

[Heather]

hey Bruno, tell me some more about this. I googled it and searched everywhere but I can't find anything. :confused:
I think he was just kidding....

[DaChrisDude]

Whatever, Jew-Hater. You sound stupid and ignorant, just like your posts.

Yikes! Hold on there fella!

First of all, I've neither met Luis or you. I've seen all of Luis's jokes/comment over the last few months and by far the majority of them have been directed at Mexicans -which I believe he is also. If you claimed that he makes non-PC jokes, or that he's being rude/making offensive jokes I wouldn't disagree. However, I think you'd be wrong to accuse him of being anti-semitic seing as how only a small % of his jokes were directed at Jews.

[luistwentyone]

I think he was just kidding....

ROFL ! that was something I thought about too, Bruno you got me, lol

[dexsmokey]

I have no Racism to me at all but i feel i should share a Joke that was told to me by a Hispanic male, Latino, Mexican. Whatever you decide to call him He is a friend of mine. Joke is now A white man a Black man and a Mexican are on a Game show where they have to use three words in a sentence before time runs out. Game show host tells them the words are Green Pink and white. The white guy goes first. He says " The other day i was walking my dog across the green Grass when i saw a pink flower and then i saw a and at a loss of words he lost the sentence contest. The black man stepped up and said no Problem. He started with " The other day i was counting my Green before i stepped outta my Pink Caddy and looked over and saw a yellow and he too was at a loss of words and lost as well. The Mexican says Funny you guys be here your whole life and me is here for jus a few weeks and i know the sentence. Mexican says I was in my house the day yesterday and i hear my Phone go green,green,green and I Pink it up and say Yellow

[swissfish]

I've always thought it would be funny if we went to war with bruno's people and the Africans. I wonder how many people would think it's a civil war.


LOL that is funny

[alien4fish]

MERRY XMAS !! holey ****t i go away for a week and the whole place falls apart wheres my chair and whip?? i know i left it here somewhere...............................

[dbrooks]

Why are you assuming things that I didn't say. I don't think it is right to make fun of any race or religion, especially in a public forum. Why don't you try to make more excuses for your antisemitic remarks low-life.
Lighten up - Francis.

Tis the season to be JOLLY!

[Heather]

MERRY XMAS !! holey ****t i go away for a week and the whole place falls apart wheres my chair and whip?? i know i left it here somewhere...............................
Hahahaha...:p

[Elanglio]

Two jews walk into a bar.
They buy the place.

[luistwentyone]

One beautiful December evening Luis and his girlfriend Maria were sitting
by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Luis said,
"Hey, mamacita, let's play Weeweechu." "Oh no, not now, lets look at the
moon" said Maria.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's the
perfect time," Luis begged.

But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon."
"Please, corazoncito, just once, play Weeweechu with me."
Maria looked at Luis and said, "OK, one time, we'll play Weeweechu."
Luis grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! HAPPY HANNUKA !!!! HAPPY KWANZAA !!!!

NOW GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

[BumbleBee]

"Hey, mamacita, let's play Weeweechu."


ROFLMAO

[da6d2003]

Two jews walk into a bar.
They buy the place.


Now that's hilarious!!!!:D :D

[Heather]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! HAPPY HANNUKA !!!!
Don't forget Kwanzaa :)

[DaChrisDude]

NOW GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER

Guilty as charged..... ;)

[RAbdouMD]

Oldie but goodie...

A mexican and a black guy are in a car...who's driving?

The cop.

Owned.

Call me racist, I dare you. =)

[luistwentyone]

Confucius say:

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy.
to park meat in girl.
Man who jizz in cash register come into money.
Man who drop watch in toilet have ****ty time.
Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.
Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
Baseball wrong--man with four balls cannot walk.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
Learn to masturbate--come in handy.
Virgin like balloon--one prick, all gone.

[DaChrisDude]

omg.....

[Elanglio]

luis, your last joke was great! :D

[brahm]

being jewish i could pretend to be offended...but..eh that requires to much effort

[swissfish]

being jewish i could pretend to be offended...but..eh that requires to much effort

You are not jewish, you you haven't been. Last time i checked you were half geek half amazing or something don this lines:D :D :D :D

[brahm]

You are not jewish, you you haven't been. Last time i checked you were half geek half amazing or something don this lines:D :D :D :D

i am many things

[Elanglio]

i am many things

Are you Batman?

[DaveMorris]

So....I've got this piece of live rock......

[brahm]

Are you Batman?


"...I AM THE BAT!!!" - Hank Venture.

[lucubrator]

"...I AM THE BAT!!!" - Hank Venture.

I thought nobody watched that show!

[Elanglio]

"...I AM THE BAT!!!" - Hank Venture.

Venture Bros. Pwn, I got the first season on DVD.

"But I don't get it, Johnny Deeper?" - African Ambassador

[Elanglio]

I have changed this post because I was pmed by someome w/o a sense of humor. Instead of being a ****, I changed it.

But seriously, grab a beer and laugh a little.