Chuck Norris

[RickSee]

Chuck Norris can get 27,000,000 hits on YouTube without posting a video.

[keepswimming]

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the earth down.

[slicktoppomp]

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around around the entire world and punch himself in the back of the head.

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[Kris]

Chuck Norris never does any water changes. He tells the water to pull up it's parameters, and it does.

[DaveMorris]

There is no theory of evolution. Creatures just exist as Chuck Norris allows them to.

[slicktoppomp]

If you drop a penny off the empire state building and it hit Chuck Norris in the head it would ricochet off, kill you, and hunt down your family.

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[cHRoNzZe]

http://i1345.photobucket.com/albums/p661/cHRoNzZz619/imagejpg1_zpsfd89208d.jpg (http://s1345.photobucket.com/user/cHRoNzZz619/media/imagejpg1_zpsfd89208d.jpg.html)

[poakley723]

I hear he sneezes with his eyes open.

[ManTis]

Hahaha
http://i244.photobucket.com/albums/gg34/m-nguyen/2069707-the_final_chuck_norris_fact_bruce_lee_chuck_norris _demotivational_poster_1259789703.jpg (http://s244.photobucket.com/user/m-nguyen/media/2069707-the_final_chuck_norris_fact_bruce_lee_chuck_norris _demotivational_poster_1259789703.jpg.html)

[bladedrummer]

Chuck Norris owns a special edition Swiss Army knife. One of the tools in it is Mac Gyver.
Chuck Norris got laid before his father did.
Chuck Norris can drift in neutral.
When Chuck Norris turns on the hazard lights on his truck, it's not because he's in distress, it's because he's going to turn both ways simultaneously.

[bladedrummer]

Viagra manufacturing companies get spam mail from Chuck Norris.

[keepswimming]

When Chuck Norris takes a shower in the am he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

[slicktoppomp]

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people...

Then it exploded.

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[Noobie_fish]

Lol.


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[poakley723]

Chuck norris wasn't born.

He kicked his way out.

[RickSee]

Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945. The Nazi surrendered to us May 7, 1945. Coincidence? I don't think so!!!!!!!!

[RickSee]

After the movie was complete, it was found that he used a body double. No one kills Chuck Norris, the director and writer were never found

[antoneoh]

Chuck Norris reached the end of the Internet....twice.

[slicktoppomp]

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He stares at it and scares the crap out of it.

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[RickSee]

Chuck Norris regularly donates his own organs because he can grow them back.