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suver569
06-06-2004, 11:20 AM
These are the new rules of my house, after a 2 year battle with my sitter (My wife's younger, very lazy sister) I've had it up to here. I spend 10 hours at work, only to come home and clean for 3 hours. It's just not working ya know. Am I being to harsh here?


As of June 10, 2004 These will be the rules of the house.

Please remember that we do not own this house. All damages will come directly out of our pocket when we move. If we owned the house, the damages would come out of the pocket of the person who did the damage. Don’t treat this house or things in it like your own. Treat them with respect, and treat them as if they belonged to someone else.

Kitchen:
1. ALL dishes will be rinsed. No exceptions, no excuses.
2. The counters will NOT have stains, food or drinks spilled on them. If the counter is stained, use the bleach cleaner.
3. All trash will be thrown away, this includes bottles or soda cans.
4. The floor is not a garbage can, don’t treat it like one. Wipe up spills, sweep up food/crumbs.
5. If something spills in the fridge, wipe it up. If it’s moldy or empty, throw it away.
6. Dishes that are dry, can be put away.
7. The microwave is not a place to store clutter.
8. If you cook it, you clean it. Pots, pans, ALL DISHES CLEAN.
9. The sink is not a garbage can. The garbage can is, A GARBAGE CAN. Use it.
Dining Room:
10. Dining table is not a storage area for mail, trash, food, anything. Nothing belongs on the dining table, except if you are eating or drinking it. Clean it when your done.
11. The carpets don’t absorb food/drinks. If it spills, vacuum and/or clean it up using a type of cleaner. Baby wipes work to clean up baby puke.
12. Dining room chairs are to be wiped down with windex or a damp towel.
13. If something is on the floor, it probably doesn’t belong there. Pick it up.
14. The computer desk is not a storage/trash can. Food and drinks are fine, but clean it up when your done, not after someone has spilled it into the keyboard.
15. Fish tanks are 100%, at all times, off limits to EVERYONE except Dan and Liz. If one small amount of chemical gets in a tank, it will kill everything inside, and I will kill someone. Foreign objects (pens, coins, metal, anything that isn’t supposed to be in there) Will kill everything inside. No one is to feed ANY tank, unless I ask.
16. The dining room is not a laundry room. Clothes do not need to pile up here… Clean OR Dirty.

Living room:

17. Kids DO NOT belong under or behind the aquarium. If something gets unplugged, the tank can flood in a matter of minutes.
18. The living room, specifically the couch, is not a laundry hamper. Don’t treat it like one.
19. The couch has a cover. It’s hard to believe, but it actually is made to fit the couch. If something is spilled (which shouldn’t happen, kids are NOT to have food in the living room) Clean it! If Trenton pukes on it, wash it.
20. CHILDREN ARE NOT TO TOUCH THE DVD’S OR THE DVD/STEREO EQUIPMENT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If they are found playing with DVD’s, they will be put away where no one can find them. Dvd’s are not free, and they scratch. If you leave on out, and it gets ruined, you will pay for it.
21. With the exception of trenton’s diapers and the pile of shoes, nothing belongs on the floor of the living room. No exceptions.
22. The end tables are not for storage of anything except pictures and lamps.
23. Windex works wonders on finger prints on the entertainment center and TV. There are several bottles. Use it.
24. The entertainment center is not storage for soda cans, trash, mail or anything that isn’t a picture or decoration.
25. If there is a mess on the carpet, vacuum it. If something is spilled, use the steam cleaner.
26. Walls are not for art. Drawing on walls pisses me off, and is unacceptable. Pens/pencils/crayons should be put away in the first place, but if kids draw on something that is not paper or a coloring book, GET IT CLEANED.
27. Kids do not eat in the living room. No exceptions. Cups that don’t spill are fine as long as they don’t leak.
28. The fish tank is not a storage area. Nothing belongs on top or on the sides of it.


Bathrooms:

29. The floor is not a trash can, don’t treat it like one. Pick up trash, wipe up water, pick up toys.
30. ALL sink mess will be cleaned at the time it happens.
31. The toilet needs to be FLUSHED. This is a no brainer.
32. The tub needs to be emptied.
33. If you use the last bit of toilet paper, replace it.
34. Clothes don’t belong on the floor of the bathroom
35. If you don’t pay rent here, you don’t shower here. If you wish to shower, you can chip in $2 per shower. Shampoo, Soap, Hot water, Sewer, electricity all add up. One 5 minute shower costs me around $2, if not more.

Rooms:
36. Rooms need to be picked up daily. Clothes and toys need to be put away.
37. Trentons bed gets dirty fast. If something spills, or gets peed on, WASH IT.
38. Dirty clothes belong in a hamper.
39. Clean clothes belong in drawers or hung up.
Garage:

40. If you don’t pay rent here, you don’t do laundry here. As an alternative, you may do 2 full loads of our laundry, washed, dried, folded/hung, and you may do one load of your own, otherwise, a full load will cost you $2.50. One load of laundry costs at least this much when you factor in hot water, electricity/gas, sewer, laundry detergent and wear/tear on my washer/drier. I just bought a new washer which cost me $375, and the drier cost $100.
Front/Back Yard:

41. If your going to smoke, do it in front of the house, and do not throw the butts on my property. I’m tired if finding them. Kids play here, and they do not need to be playing with cigarette butts.
42. The back yard hose is broken. Turn it all the way off, otherwise it leaks all day long.
43. Clothes, towels, blankets don’t belong outside for any reason.
44. Trash does not belong outside. It belongs in the trash can, so pick It up.
45. Strollers, bikes, scooters don’t belong in the driveway, grass, or on the porch. Put them in the garage.

JeromeBaker
06-06-2004, 12:00 PM
I'll be honest it was just to much to read but i'll tell you this the first 5 million words that I read you know the first 25% of your post sounded how things should run. That should all be common sense.

CNCreefer
06-06-2004, 12:03 PM
Good job.......Now all you need to do is enforce it.

I got tired of dealing with that crap with roomates a long time ago.
I have hypoclycemia and would buy food items to control it and tell everyone in the house that it's off limits, only to find it gone when I needed it.

Not to mention the fish tank issues.

Just my fiance and I live here now.

Now there are no roommates allowed here under any circumstances, not even overnite visitors in this house.

Solved a lot of problems.

Good luck!
Ron

suver569
06-06-2004, 12:05 PM
Sometimes common sense isnt so common though :)

It's been an uphill battle at this house, and I'm on the edge here. Last week, while she was watching the kids, the back room mysteriously got flooded. The only way it could have happened is if one of the kids brought a hose into the room. She attempted to clean it up, very poorly I might add, and didnt bother saying anything to anyone. I walked out the next day to find a lake of water back there. I almost went postal.

suver569
06-06-2004, 12:09 PM
Originally posted by CNCreefer

Now there are no roommates allowed here under any circumstances, not even overnite visitors in this house.
Ron

Oh, that's my next battle. She stays here about 2-3 nights a week, comes in unannounced. In fact, the other night at 10:30 pm, sitting at my computer checking email, I had just gotten out of the shower so I was in my towel, she just walks in the house. No knock, nothing. grrrrr

Oh, went to claim jumpers a few weeks ago, brought home my fav. country fried steak. Came home the next day from work, and yep, gone. Nothing better than craving something all day, only to come home to find it gone.

suver569
06-06-2004, 12:22 PM
Might take you up on that one J.

Enforcing may be just as hard, just as you mentioned, but hopefully only for a short time. After a while, it should become routine. Most of this applies to my sister-in-law, and my wife. They seem to have inherited the same slob gene from there mom, and I'll be damned if our kids pick up on there bad habbits.
I'm no neat freak by any means, but all the common sense stuff should be automatic. I do leave clutter around, especially when it comes to my tanks, but at least it's confined to my tanks.

tom@kartboy.com
06-06-2004, 12:37 PM
3. All trash will be thrown away, this includes RECYCLEING bottles or soda cans.


fixed that for ya :)

Tom

good luck
i had a SLOB roomate for 4 years, he did just about everything on that list. lucky for me he got into crack and is in jail for a good long time (No Joke!!)

suver569
06-06-2004, 12:39 PM
Doh, well yea, we have a recycling bag in the garage. I'll change that. Thanks :)

JeromeBaker
06-06-2004, 04:13 PM
YOu should spend some quality time with each of em and have a heart to heart. Let them know that the roll they play in the family is very important. Give em some value. Pump em up so the feel good about contributing to the household. If you can make a kid feel good they'll do anything you want. Respect them and make em feel as if you appreciate what they do for you. Its all phsycological. Get inside their head and the garbage will get inside the can!

suver569
06-06-2004, 04:56 PM
Originally posted by JeromeBaker
Get inside their head and the garbage will get inside the can!

I like that. I do try to make easier, and seem like it's a game, at least for the kids, but with my sis-in-law, it's almost impossible. I'll talk to her one day, everything will be fine for a day or two, the back to the same ol routine of leaving crap out everyday. It's been the same cycle for over 2 years now, so I'm just laying down the law. I'm going to give it a few weeks and see how this pans out, and if nothing changes, the kids will be going elsewhere for childcare, regardless of cost. It's just not worth it to spend 2-3 hours cleaning every night, getting 200 dollar water and electricity bills.

nalbar
06-06-2004, 05:13 PM
i hope you dont think i am being to harsh, but here i go;

people can only take advantage of you if YOU allow it. now that a pattern has been set by YOU it will be impossible to break without you being EXTREMELY .....well, MEAN. its on you.

which brings up the other touchy subject;

dood, where is your wife in all this? its HER sister! why are YOU cleaning up for three hours? if you wife is allowing your harmony to be disturbed .... well what can i say? once again, YOU set a pattern of behavour that will be difficult to break on that side also.


sorry, but someone had to say it.



nalbar

JeromeBaker
06-06-2004, 07:02 PM
Fire the sitter and adopt the kids. You dont need this agrivation.

Acoustic
06-06-2004, 08:26 PM
I will kill someone.


Too funny.

suver569
06-06-2004, 09:06 PM
Originally posted by Acoustic
Too funny.

:D

suver569
06-06-2004, 09:13 PM
Originally posted by nalbar
i hope you dont think i am being to harsh, but here i go;

people can only take advantage of you if YOU allow it. now that a pattern has been set by YOU it will be impossible to break without you being EXTREMELY .....well, MEAN. its on you.

which brings up the other touchy subject;

dood, where is your wife in all this? its HER sister! why are YOU cleaning up for three hours? if you wife is allowing your harmony to be disturbed .... well what can i say? once again, YOU set a pattern of behavour that will be difficult to break on that side also.


sorry, but someone had to say it.



nalbar

Not too harsh at all. It's actually nice to see that someone else see this problem too. I have a hard time admitting that this is a majority of the problem, but in reality, it is probably most of the problem. The problem being that my wife tends to be just as bad as her sister is. Good to see that someone else pointed it out...Sad that pretty much a complete stranger picked up on that...

My wife doesnt set down any rules with her, and most of the time, I dont see her sister in the morning, or evening when i get home, so I dont get a chance to talk with her about things.

I spent a good part of the day today getting the house the way I want it, and expect it to stay that way. I suppose I'll have to sit them both down and lay down the law. Have a good face to face with them both hopefully will do it.

K, done ranting, now to get down to business.

JeromeBaker
06-06-2004, 09:29 PM
I'll tell you what, you need to make it clear that your the man of the house and your rules need be followed. Dont be a controlling Ahole but that's the truth. People need to understand that there will be consiquenses to breaking the rules. The only way they'll learn is if they relate pain to disobeying you. Be nice and lay down the rules, but when you enforce em people are gonna go runnin. To be honest with you it sounds like your being submissive to the lazyness your family is infected with. STEP UP! Lay down the law and light a fire under their ass's to pick up their weight. and another thing.........YOU DA MAN!!

nalbar
06-06-2004, 09:35 PM
Originally posted by JeromeBaker
I'll tell you what, you need to make it clear that your the man of the house and your rules need be followed. Dont be a controlling Ahole but that's the truth. People need to understand that there will be consiquenses to breaking the rules. The only way they'll learn is if they relate pain to disobeying you. Be nice and lay down the rules, but when you enforce em people are gonna go runnin. To be honest with you it sounds like your being submissive to the lazyness your family is infected with. STEP UP! Lay down the law and light a fire under their ass's to pick up their weight. and another thing.........YOU DA MAN!!


YIKES!!


nalbar

warlockgp
06-06-2004, 10:48 PM
How come the baby gets so much slack on the rules???

Rule them with an Iron hand..........

Sorry i'm sleepy, good night.

sdboogie
06-07-2004, 12:57 AM
get rid of your expectations and you'll never be dissappointed. People don't seem to change. And life gets to be lonely when we demand it to be our way. The only thing we can change is our perspective. I love my family and gave up the Sunset magazine house fantasy long ago. It's a constant balancing act. Like the pH and calcium in or tanks, one extreme affects the other. Some dose with beer, surfing, God, racecars, etc. (corny reef analogy)

JeromeBaker
06-07-2004, 08:34 AM
I disagree. As individuals all capable of making decisions it is up to us to create the quality of life that we deserve and should strive for. Dont give up SDboogie or Suver. It is important that we dont get rid of our expectations. Expectations are the driving force of my life. Expecting myself to suceed in business, expecting myself to succeed in my relationships, whitout my expectations of who I want to be and working hard to live up to them, I am nothing. Without expectations you sit back and tell the world you dont stand for anything. I dont know about you but I STAND UP for what I believe in. Where's you motivation to achieve, to accomplish, to experience life? If you let people walk over you, where is your value? It is a man's responsibilty to be a guide, guiding his family in the right direction. How can a man do this without any direction himself. By teaching some people to pick up some trash you are teaching them common courtesy, you are not sacrificing your happiness but hoping to contribute to anothers through disapline. You said something about preception is reality. In certain ways it is but good luck creating the preception that there's not trash on the floor when you hear it crunching under your feet.

sdboogie
06-07-2004, 09:04 AM
We all have our own paths to travel. I've tried to be the sherriff and controller of all around me and it didn't work. Maybe it works for others. Don't confuse letting go with giving up. I try not to have expectations and I have a great family, business and an overall beachin life. The key to any family is communication. As it turns out we all needed to compromise in order to achieve maximum satisfaction. It couldn't be my way or the highway. It couldn't be my wife's way either. Somewhere in the middle. I just don't buy into the millitant, I'm the man and there is only one way to do things - the right way, kind of mentallity. Been there, done that, it didn't work for me.

JeromeBaker
06-07-2004, 09:18 AM
Oh I agree for sure. I'm not for that either. It's not right for the man to overpower his family and demand more than is possible for his satisfaction but it is right for a man to be a teacher. Like I said before a guide. I am not married but I teach my girlfriend that she has a say in things as much as I. Her opinion is just as important and there are many things I will and have learned from her. One of my expectations is giving her everything she needs to be truly happy. Including her independence. Not overpowering her but guiding her. A man bases his decisions on logic(well, for the most part. that's what the experts say) a women and children base there decisions on emotion(how is this gonna make me feel). You have to be there to find or at least help to find that line between the two for the people you care about so they are successful in this world. Expectations, common sense and courtesy, respect, structure, guidence, strength, compasion are all thing that arent taught in school but critical to progressing in our society. Those are qualities that us as adults us as men have to instill in our children. Its not a military operation its the love of another and seeing to it that you as a parent provide them with the tools they need to not only survive but to thrive!

sdboogie
06-07-2004, 09:28 AM
I think we have the same goals and sense of responsibility. Maybe we just have slightly different approaches. And that's all good!:D

JeromeBaker
06-07-2004, 10:05 AM
Amen brotha